Slug Joke

Slug at the New Roald Dahl blog

Slug Joke

“What is the difference between a slug and a bag of salt?” Bert asked his friend Fred.
“Go on, tell me,” Fred answered.
“Salt makes your food taste better; slugs, however, shrivel and up and die if they come into contact with salt.
“That’s terrible!” Fred protested. “That’s not a joke!”
“You think it’s terrible?” Bert replied, flapping his arms about wildly, with excitement. “Imagine how the poor slugs feel!”

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slug talk front cover

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A Funny Thing Happened The Other Day

Giant Snail at the New Roald Dahl blog

A Funny Thing Happened
The Other Day

I saw this sleek snail in the green grass one day,
A flyboy, he was, I do have to say,
For he whisked himself past as fast could be,
In a shell of many colours, a flyboy was he.
*
I had hardly perceived that he had even arrived,
Before he disappeared into the sunset – I tell you no lie!
That snail of many colours, as bold as could be,
Was a flyboy for sure, so flashy was he!
*
He made me so sad, as sad as could be,
For I am a slug, not flashy, that’s me,
No shell to impress with colours and bling,
Just a poor, boring slug and it’s a terrible thing.
*
But I do have this plan, a means to an end,
That could make so cool, like snails and their friends,
All that I need are paint and a brush,
A golf ball and glue – not really so much!
*
With these said items, I will make myself grand,
Painting the ball, gluing it on my back is my plan,
Then I’ll parade myself round as proud as can be,
Like the snail of many colours and just as flashy, hee hee.

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slug talk front cover

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Oh, To Have Legs…

Slug at the New Roald Dahl blog

Oh to have legs like insects and things,

To walk on all fours is something I dream,

Or even just two, like HU-MAN THEINGS.

Would make me so happy, would realise my dreams

*

I dream of the day, I grow legs and see,

What it feels like to walk, not slime so lowly,

You see, I am a poor slug with no legs at all,

A garbled old thing, just slime and slow drawl.

*

Now don’t get me wrong it’s not all bad, I confess,

There are some perks living in a damp mess,

But I cannot help wonder about legs, I admit,

Oh lord give me legs, be it two, four or six.

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Crabs Legs at the New Roald Dahl blog

HA HA, I have more legs than you, said the crab to the slug.

Whispering Jesse – John Denver

Whispering Jesse – John Denver

I often have wandered in deep contemplation
It seems that the mind runs wild when you’re all alone
The way that it could be
The way that it should be
Things I’d do differently if I could do them again

I’ve always loved spring time, the passing of winter
The green of the new leaves and life goin on
The promise of morning
The long days of summer
Warm nights of loving her beneath the bright stars

I’m just an old cowboy from high Colorado
Too old to ride anymore, too blind to see
I sleep in the city now
Away from the mountains
Away from the cabin we always called home

I dream I left there
On an old Palomino
Whispering Jesse rode right by my side
I long to hold her
To hear her soft breathing
The touch of her cool hands on my fevered brow

Whispering Jesse still rides in the mountains
Still sings in the canyons
Still lives in my heart

Words and music by John Denver

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Stories for children and adults by the NEW Roald Dahl

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